{"id":295,"date":"2009-02-11T15:17:57","date_gmt":"2009-02-11T14:17:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/2009\/02\/11\/o-jde-v-lisabonske-smlouv\/"},"modified":"2009-02-11T15:17:57","modified_gmt":"2009-02-11T14:17:57","slug":"o-jde-v-lisabonske-smlouv","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/2009\/02\/11\/o-jde-v-lisabonske-smlouv\/","title":{"rendered":"O\u010d jde v Lisabonsk\u00e9 smlouv\u011b?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"eu\"… aneb podobenstv\u00ed o nev\u011bst\u011b a \u010desk\u00e9m chasn\u00edkovi <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

V\u00fd\u0148atek z dopisu poslance EP Vladim\u00edra \u017delezn\u00e9ho ministru zahrani\u010dn\u00edch v\u011bc\u00ed \u010cR Karlu Schwarzenbergovi: <\/p>\n

V\u00e1\u017een\u00fd pane minist\u0159e, <\/p>\n

kdy\u017e u\u017e hovo\u0159\u00edme o P\u0159\u00edstupov\u00e9 smlouv\u011b a o Lisabonsk\u00e9 smlouv\u011b, dovolte mi, abych p\u0159i\u010dinil pozn\u00e1mku. V rozprav\u011b o Lisabonsk\u00e9 smlouv\u011b jsem ocenil Va\u0161e vtipn\u00e9 podobenstv\u00ed o bohat\u00e9 nev\u011bst\u011b s vilou, kam jsme se jako chud\u00fd chasn\u00edk p\u0159i\u017eenili a najednou se zdr\u00e1h\u00e1me plnit povinnosti. Mysl\u00edm v\u0161ak, \u017ee v tom p\u0159\u00edb\u011bhu je t\u0159eba p\u0159ipomenout i to, co se d\u011blo po bujar\u00e9 svatebn\u00ed m\u00e1jov\u00e9 noci pln\u00e9 \u0161ampa\u0148sk\u00e9ho a radostn\u00fdch oh\u0148ostroj\u016f. <\/p>\n

Brzy po svatb\u011b n\u00e1\u0161 chasn\u00edk zjist\u00ed, \u017ee do mnoha prostor vily, kam se k nev\u011bst\u011b nast\u011bhoval, stejn\u011b nem\u00e1 p\u0159\u00edstup (omezen\u00ed voln\u00e9ho pohybu pracovn\u00ed s\u00edly, z\u00e1kaz voln\u00e9ho pohybu slu\u017eeb podle Bolkensteinovy direktivy a dal\u0161\u00ed regulace),<\/em> zat\u00edmco jin\u00ed milenci jeho partnerky se tam pohodln\u011b roztahuj\u00ed. A pokud mu do n\u011bkter\u00fdch l\u00e9pe vybaven\u00fdch prostor vily, p\u0159ece jen v\u00fdjime\u010dn\u011b dovol\u00ed vstoupit, pak a\u017e po poni\u017euj\u00edc\u00ed procedu\u0159e, kdy mus\u00ed prok\u00e1zat, \u017ee si umyl nohy, m\u00e1 \u010dist\u00e9 u\u0161i, nejedl \u010desnek a r\u00e1no se post\u0159\u00edkal deodorantem francouzsk\u00e9 nebo n\u011bmeck\u00e9 v\u00fdroby (pr\u00e1vo na prodlou\u017een\u00ed embarga na voln\u00fd pohyb pracovn\u00ed sily podle \u00favahy a benevolence p\u016fvodn\u00edch \u010dlensk\u00fdch zem\u00ed).<\/em> <\/p>\n

Chasn\u00edk sice podle p\u0159edman\u017eelsk\u00e9 smlouvy v\u011bd\u011bl, \u017ee nev\u011bsta je siln\u011b promiskuitn\u00ed a \u017ee si s n\u00ed bude moci u\u017e\u00edvat man\u017eelsk\u00e9 radosti jen ka\u017edou p\u011btadvac\u00e1tou a pozd\u011bji jen sedmadvac\u00e1tou noc a v noc\u00edch ostatn\u00edch se bude nev\u011bsta odd\u00e1vat jin\u00fdm milenc\u016fm. Jen\u017ee n\u00e1hle mu podstr\u010d\u00ed k podpisu \u00fapln\u011b odli\u0161nou man\u017eelskou smlouvu (\u00dastavu \u010di Lisabonskou smlouvu),<\/em> kde s p\u0159ekvapen\u00edm zjist\u00ed, \u017ee se nev\u011bsta jmenuje jinak, ne\u017e ta, kterou si vzal, a nav\u00edc mu ta smlouva sd\u011bl\u00ed, \u017ee po\u010det noc\u00ed, kdy bude p\u0159ipu\u0161t\u011bn, bude nap\u0159\u00ed\u0161t\u011b stanoven na z\u00e1klad\u011b v\u011bt\u0161inov\u00e9ho rozhodnut\u00ed ostatn\u00edch milenc\u016f, \u017ee se v\u0161ak v ka\u017ed\u00e9m p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b na jeho \u00fakor zdvojn\u00e1sob\u00ed po\u010det noc\u00ed, kdy nev\u011bsta bude muset b\u00fdt po v\u016fli \u010dasto neobvykl\u00fdm choutk\u00e1m n\u011bmeck\u00e9ho milence (zaveden\u00ed v\u011bt\u0161inov\u00e9ho syst\u00e9mu v EU a zv\u00fd\u0161en\u00ed volebn\u00ed v\u00e1hy N\u011bmecka v EU na dvojn\u00e1sobek, z 9 % na 18 %).<\/em> <\/p>\n

A kdy\u017e u\u017e se n\u00e1hodou nev\u011bsta uvol\u00ed k man\u017eelsk\u00e9 noci s na\u0161\u00edm chasn\u00edkem, pak ok\u00e1zale p\u0159edem spolyk\u00e1 hrst antikoncep\u010dn\u00edch pilulek, jen aby z toho spojen\u00ed n\u00e1hodou nebylo po\u010dato n\u011bco smyslupln\u00e9ho. N\u00e1\u0161 chasn\u00edk nav\u00edc zjist\u00ed, \u017ee nov\u00e1 man\u017eelsk\u00e1 smlouva p\u0159edepisuje, \u017ee kdy\u017e u\u017e bude moci uplatnit sv\u00e1 man\u017eelsk\u00e1 pr\u00e1va, pak \u010dasto jen ve spolupod\u00edlnictv\u00ed s jin\u00fdmi uchaze\u010di o rozko\u0161, a to p\u0159esto, \u017ee na skupinov\u00fd sex s n\u011bmeck\u00fdm a francouzsk\u00fdm milencem sv\u00e9 partnerky nem\u00e1 zrovna chu\u0165 (sd\u00edlen\u00e9 p\u0159edsednictv\u00ed, dispropor\u010dn\u00ed po\u010det komisa\u0159\u016f). <\/em> <\/p>\n

A\u017e dodate\u010dn\u011b si n\u00e1\u0161 chasn\u00edk pov\u0161imne, \u017ee nov\u00e1 man\u017eelsk\u00e1 smlouva m\u00e1 tak\u00e9 z\u00e1vazn\u00fd dodatek, \u017ee p\u0159i ka\u017ed\u00e9m sexu s man\u017eelkou m\u00e1 pr\u00e1vo b\u00fdt p\u0159\u00edtomna i tch\u00fdn\u011b (Charta z\u00e1kladn\u00edch pr\u00e1v EU), <\/em>kter\u00e1 m\u016f\u017ee pr\u016fb\u011b\u017en\u011b posuzovat jeho zp\u016fsobilost k man\u017eelsk\u00e9mu \u017eivotu (nov\u00e9 pravomoci soudu EU v Lucemburku).<\/em> <\/p>\n

A nav\u00edc ho tch\u00fdn\u011b m\u016f\u017ee, t\u0159eba i po milostn\u00e9 p\u0159edeh\u0159e, vyk\u00e1zat z man\u017eelsk\u00e9 postele, proto\u017ee je\u0161t\u011b neuhradil bolestn\u00e9 jin\u00e9mu chasn\u00edkovi, se kter\u00fdm se kdysi d\u00e1vno popral v hospod\u011b a tomu druh\u00e9mu chasn\u00edkovi z toho dodnes z\u016fstal p\u011bkn\u00fd monokl pod okem (od\u0161kodn\u011bn\u00ed Sudetsk\u00fdm N\u011bmc\u016fm za zabaven\u00fd majetek, o kter\u00e9m u\u017e nad\u00e1le bude rozhodovat podle Charty jen soud EU).<\/em> <\/p>\n

To v\u0161echno zjist\u00ed n\u00e1\u0161 chasn\u00edk, a\u017e kdy\u017e novou man\u017eelskou smlouvu neopatrn\u011b podep\u00ed\u0161e, ani\u017e se ten venkovsk\u00fd trouba p\u0159edem poradil s pr\u00e1vn\u00edky. A teprve dodate\u010dn\u011b si uv\u011bdom\u00ed, \u017ee v nov\u00e9 smlouv\u011b je tak\u00e9 \u010dl\u00e1nek, ve kter\u00e9m se zavazuje, \u017ee se s\u00e1m dobrovoln\u011b nech\u00e1 vykastrovat (zru\u0161en\u00ed 62 pr\u00e1v veta \u010dlensk\u00fdch zem\u00ed v\u016f\u010di rozhodnut\u00ed EU v Lisabonsk\u00e9 smlouv\u011b). <\/em> <\/p>\n

Jak dlouho byste, pane minist\u0159e, v takov\u00e9 p\u0159epychov\u00e9 vile setrval? <\/p>\n

Do\u0161lo e-mailem na adresu redakce\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

… aneb podobenstv\u00ed o nev\u011bst\u011b a \u010desk\u00e9m chasn\u00edkovi<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":275,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[9],"tags":[28],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/295"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=295"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/295\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/275"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}