{"id":575,"date":"2007-03-24T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-03-23T23:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/2007\/03\/24\/tke-ivobyti\/"},"modified":"2007-03-24T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-03-23T23:00:00","slug":"tke-ivobyti","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/2007\/03\/24\/tke-ivobyti\/","title":{"rendered":"T\u011b\u017ek\u00e9 \u017eivobyt\u00ed"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"logo\"P\u0159ed n\u011bkolika t\u00fddny zem\u0159el americk\u00fd fejetonista Art Buchwald. Od mali\u010dka jsem si schov\u00e1val jeho \u010dl\u00e1nky. Vtipn\u011b komentovaly americkou realitu. Pokud by v\u00e1m jeho fejetony, star\u00e9 a\u017e 30 let, n\u011bco p\u0159ipom\u00ednaly, nen\u00ed to podobnost \u010dist\u011b n\u00e1hodn\u00e1. To, co kritizoval, se pomalu p\u0159esunulo i k n\u00e1m. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0 <\/p>\n

\u00dast\u0159edn\u00ed \u0161pion\u00e1\u017en\u00ed slu\u017eba CIA ozn\u00e1mila, \u017ee ze sv\u00fdch slu\u017eeb hodl\u00e1 propustit 820 tajn\u00fdch agent\u016f. Tito mu\u017ei a \u017eeny pracovali v podzem\u00ed a jejich v\u00fdcvik je pravd\u011bpodobn\u011b nep\u0159ipravil na zam\u011bstn\u00e1n\u00ed v civiln\u00edm \u017eivot\u011b. Proto pro n\u011b asi bude nesnadn\u00e9 naj\u00edt zam\u011bstn\u00e1n\u00ed. Rozhovor propu\u0161t\u011bn\u00e9ho agenta s \u0159editelem osobn\u00edho odd\u011bleni konfek\u010dn\u00ed firmy by mohl vypadat asi takto: <\/p>\n

"Co jste d\u011blal p\u0159edt\u00edm?" pt\u00e1 se \u0159editel osobn\u00edho odd\u011blen\u00ed.
"Pracoval jsem 25 let v podzem\u00ed,* odpov\u00edd\u00e1 b\u00fdval\u00fd agent.
\u00bbV konfekci jste ned\u011blal? Pro\u010d v\u00e1s propustili z va\u0161eho p\u0159edchoz\u00edho m\u00edsta?*
\u00bbNahradil m\u011b po\u010d\u00edta\u010d instalovan\u00fd na dru\u017eici a \u0159ekli mi, \u017ee m\u011b u\u017e nepot\u0159ebuj\u00ed. \u00ab
\u00bbCo um\u00edte?\u00ab
\u00bbUm\u00edm za minutu vyslat 120 slov v k\u00f3du, a to z vys\u00edla\u010dky, kter\u00e1 nen\u00ed v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e zapalova\u010d.\u00ab
\u00bbTo je v\u00fdborn\u00e9, ale takov\u00e1 profese se v konfekci neuplatn\u00ed. Um\u00edte je\u0161t\u011b n\u011bco?\u00ab
\u00bbUm\u00edm otev\u0159\u00edt ob\u00e1lku, ofotografovat obsah a zase ji zalepit tak, \u017ee to nikdo nepozn\u00e1.\u201c
\u00bbChcete \u0159\u00edci, \u017ee byste cht\u011bl pracovat v podateln\u011b?*
\u00bbNe tak docela. Ale ptal jste se m\u011b, co um\u00edm.\u00ab
\u00bbMy ale opravdu nepot\u0159ebujeme nikoho, kdo um\u00ed otv\u00edrat po\u0161tu. Um\u00edte je\u0161t\u011b n\u011bco?\u00ab
\u00bbUm\u00edm instalovat elektronick\u00e9 odposlouch\u00e1vac\u00ed za\u0159\u00edzen\u00ed v m\u00edstnosti tak, \u017ee ho nikdo nenajde."
\u00bbTo je protiz\u00e1konn\u00e9."
\u00bbNikoli, kdy\u017e je to z d\u016fvod\u016f n\u00e1rodn\u00ed bezpe\u010dnosti.\u00ab
\u00bbTady jsme v d\u00e1msk\u00e9 konfekci a nem\u00e1me tu z\u00e1kazn\u00edky, kte\u0159\u00ed by m\u011bli n\u011bco spole\u010dn\u00e9ho s n\u00e1rodn\u00ed bezpe\u010dnost\u00ed."
\u00bbUm\u00edm nam\u00edchat n\u00e1poj tak, \u017ee kdo ho vypije, zhasne za dv\u011b minuty."
\u00bbTo je zaj\u00edmav\u00e9, av\u0161ak ned\u00e1 se \u0159\u00edci, \u017ee bychom takto jednali se sv\u00fdmi z\u00e1kazn\u00edky.\u00ab
\u00bbJsem specialista na vloup\u00e1n\u00ed. Dostanu se do m\u00edstnosti a z n\u00ed za 15 minut a nikdo nepozn\u00e1, \u017ee tam n\u011bkdo byl.\u00ab
\u00bbPane, vy um\u00edte spousta v\u011bc\u00ed, ale zd\u00e1 se mi, \u017ee nic z toho se nehod\u00ed pro n\u00e1\u0161 podnik.\u00ab
\u00bbV\u00edm jak se zach\u00e1z\u00ed s neviditeln\u00fdm inkoustem. Dok\u00e1\u017eu na rub po\u0161tovn\u00ed zn\u00e1mky napsat \u201eot\u010den\u00e1\u0161" tak, \u017de ta nikdo nepozn\u00e1.*
\u00bbMy ale pot\u0159ebujeme n\u011bkoho, kde um\u00ed prod\u00e1vat \u0161aty.\u00ab
\u00bbTo um\u00edm. Kdy\u017e si z\u00e1kazn\u00edk nic nekoup\u00ed, m\u016f\u017eu ho zlikvidovat, ani\u017e na jeho t\u011ble z\u016fstane i ta nejmen\u0161\u00ed stopa.\u00ab
"Nem\u016f\u017eete n\u011bkoho zab\u00edt jen proto, \u017ee si nechce koupit \u0161aty.\u00ab
\u00bbDok\u00e1\u017eu ho p\u0159inutit, aby pracovat pro n\u00e1s m\u00edsto pro n\u011b. Ud\u011blal jsem to u\u017e mockr\u00e1t.\u00ab
\u00bbMusel jste m\u00edt zvl\u00e1\u0161tn\u00ed zam\u011bstn\u00e1n\u00ed, ne\u017e v\u00e1s propustili.\u00ab
"Nemohu o tom mluvit. Vid\u00edte tohle pero? Vypad\u00e1 \u00fapln\u00e9 oby\u010dejn\u011b, ale v inkoustu je nam\u00edch\u00e1no s\u00e9rum pravdy. Sta\u010d\u00ed uk\u00e1pnout trochu inkoustu na n\u011b\u010d\u00ed ruku a vy\u017evan\u00ed v\u0161echno, i to, co nev\u00ed.\u00ab
\u00bbMy jsme samoz\u0159ejm\u011b r\u00e1di, kdy\u017e v\u00edme, co d\u011blaj\u00ed na\u0161\u00ed konkurenti, ale pou\u017e\u00edvat takov\u00e9 pero je p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 riskantn\u00ed.\u00ab
\u00bbDob\u0159e. Te\u010f se pod\u00edvejte na tuhle plombu.\u00ab
\u00bbP\u011bkn\u00e1, moc p\u011bkn\u00e1 plomba." \u00bbTak abyste v\u011bd\u011bl, je to schr\u00e1nka s kyanidovou tabletou. Kdyby se n\u011bkdo sna\u017eil dostat ze mne informace o cen\u00e1ch va\u0161ich \u0161at\u016f, prokousnu plombu a va\u0161e tajemstv\u00ed zem\u0159e se mnou.\u00ab
"Lituji, ale ob\u00e1v\u00e1m se, \u017ee m\u00e1te a\u017e p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 velkou kvalifikaci pro n\u00e1\u0161 podnik, pane…?\u00ab
\u00bb\u010c\u00edslo 004…\u00ab <\/p>\n

ART BUCHWALD (90. l\u00e9ta) <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

P\u0159ed n\u011bkolika t\u00fddny zem\u0159el americk\u00fd fejetonista Art Buchwald. Od mali\u010dka jsem si schov\u00e1val jeho \u010dl\u00e1nky. Vtipn\u011b komentovaly americkou realitu. Pokud<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/575"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=575"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/575\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=575"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=575"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/novysmer.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=575"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}